I was pretty annoyed at myself, but also took a moment to appreciate the fact that being annoyed at myself for sleeping 'late' until 7:20 on a Sunday was not a bad situation compared to the last Sunday I spent in my apartment. In fact, that was the Sunday that started all this. I'd been out on an amazing hike all day (pictured below) on Saturday, and then completely ruined it by going out 'for a couple of beers' in the evening and getting home at 6:30am Sunday morning. I'd slept until 3pm, laid in bed until 5pm, and missed my long training run. I felt so bad that day that I thought it'd be dangerous to even attempt running. Anyone want to guess what I did next? Of course I went back out for even more beers because I couldn't think of anything else to do. I bored a girl I know from the bar with more bullshit and regrets about wanting to stop this lifestyle, before going to bed at 10pm. An amazing fall day and I only managed to see an hour or two of daylight. I've said 'I need to stop' so many times that I wasnt sure why I was even bothering to say it because usually by Monday when I'm feeling marginally better it all seems like harmless fun.....but this Monday was different. I have no idea why, but all I could think about was starting a period of sobriety. It was consuming my every thought. During my Tuesday evening run with a friend who gave up drinking over a year ago I badgered him with questions about what it was like, how he did it, what the benefits had been...everything I could think of. He explained 'it' in ways that made perfect sense to me and which I want to write about when I'm feeling more eloquent. I was so jealous of his sober lifestyle that as I ran home I pondered an imaginary scenario in which if I could choose to simply 'switch off' my taste for alcohol for good, would I do it? I still dont know the answer, but it's a question I think about a lot. I've been careful to not make promises that I cant keep, as with anything new, the novelty value can quickly wear off and I'd look rather foolish if I made grand statements about never drinking again, but I knew that when I returned from London I wanted to make a real attempt at a decent amount of 'time off'. I was sick of saying the same thing every week and I'm sure people were sick of hearing me say the same thing. Even in writing this I've noticed the terminology I use make its seem like work! 'Time off'? Time off from what?? It's not a nice feeling to feel like you aren't in control, and I was craving 'time off' in the way we usually crave 'time off'' from work and the stresses of daily life when we go on vacation!
Anyway, back to Marathon Sunday! The day passed so quickly, but I met some really cool people and really felt an energy that I hadn't felt in a long time. I had a huge smile on my face as I unpacked boxes of bottled water, laid out the cups on the tables lining Bedford Ave, and filled the cups with water as quickly as I could. Who'd have thought that something so simple could feel so exhilarating? Is this what people feel like every weekend? It felt great to be talking to people in a 'different' environment..not at a bar, not through the fog of a weekend hangover, just talking to people and feeling good. After the race I decided to take advantage of the empty streets and get my bike out for a quick 30min blast around the streets of Williamsburg and Greenpoint. Simply having the energy to do that, late on a Sunday afternoon, was thrilling. Once again I noticed the amount of time that I had available to me because I wasnt going to the bar in the afternoon and effectively 'ending' my day. Once I've had a few beers I'm obviously not going to get on my bike or do anything productive, so my days were ending the moment I had that first beer. I'm not for a moment suggesting that there is anything wrong with a relaxing beer on a Sunday afternoon, but it's usually pretty hard to do much afterwards! I got home after watching some NFL, and it felt great to enjoy a full day. I went to bed at 9:30 and could honestly say that I'd got as much as I possibly could out of my weekend, a new experience for me.
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